8 Signs You May Be an Outgoing Introvert

There are introverts, extroverts, and then there’s you - falling somewhere in between.

The term "outgoing introvert" is an oxymoron on par with "jumbo shrimp" and "deafening silence," but for people who fall into this category, life can be an unusual mix of traits and tendencies that only they can truly appreciate. 

So what are the signs that you're an outgoing introvert?

1. You’re not anti-social, you’re selectively social - When you're an outgoing introvert it’s hard for you to meet people that you like. You can be simultaneously charming as hell, but also introspective and reflective to an annoyingly mind-numbing degree. You live inside your head, but can also be the life of the party - it all depends on the people surrounding you.
2. Meeting someone you really like can feel like finding the Chupacabra - Outgoing Introverts HATE small talk and avoid it at all costs, but when it’s inevitable that they have to interact with people, they can’t help but to try and make the other person feel comfortable. According to Psychology Today, the reason you may not like someone when you first meet them may be as simple as that the person you just met is an extrovert. Outgoing introverts, though still introverts at their core, tend to view extroverts as basic, simple, annoying, overconfident and pushy. This natural, almost subconscious tendency serves as a filter, often referred to as a first impression, through which a person’s future words and actions are judged. 
3. Coffee can actually be counter-productive for you - The Science of Us writer Melissa Dahl reported on findings from psychologist Brian Little's latest book on personality science, Me, Myself, and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being, which showed that introverts are better off avoiding caffeine before a big meeting or important event. Since you have spectrums of introversion, coffee can actually overstimulate your central nervous system that may cause you to feel overwhelmed and exhausted, rather than excited and engaged. 
4. You probably hate traditional systems -Most of our societal constructs cater to the extrovert - from large office spaces to loud bars to the structure of our educational system - despite the fact that anywhere from one-third to half of the population has an introverted temperament. Since an outgoing introvert can feel distracted or vulnerable when they are in overstimulating environments, you probably dislike traditional systems. 
5. People always confuse you for an extrovert - Extroverts and outgoing introverts may seem almost the same on the surface, and if you’re an outgoing introvert you’ve probably been called an extrovert many times. Though the way extroverts and outgoing introverts process the world is quite different. Since introverts and extroverts have different world perspectives, they view each other as different and thus are naturally predisposed against one another. Extroverts focus on the outside world, while outgoing introverts remain mostly introspective.
6. You can be the life of the party, but you need time to warm up - While you may enjoy being the center of attention, you feel best it in a controlled environment. You need time to warm up. You tend not to outwardly express your feelings and spill your whole life story in the first hour of meeting someone. Or the first year. You have no interest or energy to prove yourself in a crowd of strangers.
7. Your energy level depends on your environment - Outgoing Introverts often need to recharge after a large use of social energy. That’s why many people often annoy the outgoing introvert and social settings are often tricky for them; it’s usually a hit or miss. If you vibe with the crowd or a person, you can get your energy from human interactions. But if you don’t, those social interactions end up draining your social batteries and the extroverts in the room end up annoying the crap out of you for sometimes no specific reason. And when your batteries are drained and you’re annoyed, you will tend towards withdrawal into yourself. 
8. You probably didn’t even know you were an outgoing introvert - Since you're not completely an introvert nor an extrovert, in can literally take years to figure out that you’re an outgoing introvert. But once you do, you can understand why so many people easily annoy you and why you sometimes process experiences through your brain's "reward" centers quite differently than other people. In fact, a 2013 study published in the journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that people who are naturally introverted do not process rewards from external factors as strongly as extroverts do. So since you fall somewhere in the middle, that can sometimes explain why you're such a conundrum.

7 Ways to Survive Social Situations as an Outgoing Introvert

You cringe at the thought of pretentious nightclubs with forced conversations or first dates where you have to awkwardly but politely sit across from each other asking “get to know each other” questions. And networking events? Yeah, good luck getting you to voluntarily go to one of those.

As a person included in the world around you, you’re bound to find yourself in social situations like these that you can't help but be in. But as an outgoing introvert, these situations can be brutal - you’re selectively social and your energy and mood depend on a lot on how well you vibe with people around you, making social engagements pretty tricky. You’re just a little puzzle, waiting to be solved.

But until then:

1. Don’t take things too personally
2. Don’t worry about being anyone else's "social life jacket"
3. Don’t drink coffee before a social event…
4. Instead, have a drink
5. Bring backup
6. Don't feel obliged to justify yourself
7. After the event, find a quiet place to recharge your social batteries

According to Psychology Today, the reason you may not like someone when you first meet them may be as simple as that the person you just met is an extrovert. Outgoing introverts, though still introverts at their core, tend to view extroverts as basic, simple, annoying, overconfident and pushy. This first impression or natural (almost subconscious) tendency serves as a filter, through which a person’s future words and actions are judged.

Though people might often confuse you for an extrovert, the way you process the world is quite different from the way an extrovert does. Be aware that you have different world perspectives, and this might be the reason you view other people as different, so you're naturally predisposed against one another. If you’re aware of this subconscious tendency, you can start working on not taking things so personally. You’re just different - ‘sall good!

As an outgoing introvert, you’re really sensitive to people’s emotions around you. It’s just your intuitive nature. But remember: you don’t always have to go out of your way to make other people feel comfortable and happy.

People often expect you to be their social life jacket because you're probably a charming bastard. But in reality, you're probably just as unconformable yourself. It’s okay to be selfish at times, and that includes at social events. 

There’s nothing I love more than getting jittery and nervous at a social event. As much fun as that is, avoid coffee before an important or social event. Being an outgoing introvert, you have spectrums of introversion, so coffee can actually overstimulate your central nervous system that may cause you to feel overwhelmed and exhausted, rather than excited and engaged.

You don’t need any more stimulation, you have a sly eye for detail and you’re probably already picking up on everything around you.

Or two. If you don’t drink, have something relaxing, like chamomile tea. Drink something that gets you feeling good. Trust me, it will make a difference.

A wingman/wing-woman or anyone you feel comfortable with. A social event is bound to have a small talk - which you pretty much despise. But it’s not because you dislike people - you dislike the barriers like small talk (which often comes with going out) creates between people.

As an outgoing introvert, if you vibe with people around you, you can be the life of the party. But if you feel like people around you are unauthentic, you’ll start to withdraw into yourself and over-think everything.

That’s what your wing-person is there for, if you don’t click with people around you, they’ll be there for backup to throw shade with you and give you a break from your head.

You don't have to justify your enigmatic ways to anyone. Embrace them. You're not distant - you just crave authenticity, which actually gives you a psychological leg up on the people who are still trying to work out relationships or keep up appearances that just aren’t meant for them.

You don't like to waste your time with things that don't matter, so if you're not feeling the social event, just stay as long as you have to, then bounce. Wherever you live your life the happiest is the place you should do it.

If you leave the event/party feeling annoyed, find a place you can be alone, where you're left in solitude to unwind and recover from your large use of social energy. That’s where your close relationship with Netflix and Seamless account/delivery person comes in handy.